I can’t come to work excuses.


I was working at a job,  it was a pretty  tough job, I was wanting to quit but was sticking out because of the money.   I remember the phone rang the office manager took a message came back to relay it back to  the manager.  The message was,

“I’m not coming in today, tomorrow, or ever!”

I have had jobs where I would have like to have said that, short and to the point.  We still joke around about that one.  I know in the terrible economy quitting a job really isn’t funny.  But I guess when you have extra time on your hands like we do,  you look for funny things to get you through the down time.  We heard a good one the other day.  A man calls into work sick he said,

” He drank like a pig last night and has Swine Flu today.”  And he wasn’t joking this was his excuse, true story.

Another one ” I think I’m going to be late this morning.  I don’t know where I am, and I can’t find my left shoe.”

Oh man, and my favorite  from Navar is one when he was burnt out on a job;  he  gave a list of a few reason why he wouldn’t be in for work that day, and ended with

“My fish has Ick.”

I looked at him and said I can’t believe you just said that.  It was true, our fish did have ick, but what kind of an excuse is that?  Usually Navar is a very hard and loyal worker but sometimes a person just has had it up to their eye balls with a job.   I would  imagine manager’s  and company owner’s probably hear everything under the sun.

Any excuses that you remember lame or not so lame?


5 responses »

  1. I wish I had nerve like that but I don’t. If I was supposed to be there, I was. I had so many sick days coming to me when I left my job at the school that I could have stayed home for 3 years with pay! I’m just not one to stay home.

    I did quit a job not to long ago ON THE SPOT though. I was bored and wanted to work so I was working in a grocery store and I was only making .25 over minimum wage and when that went up, I thought/figured I’d get a raise too. I worked two nights a week and had to make deposits and lock the store up and had to work every 3rd Sat opening the store and I had to deal with money and they were paying me what the high school kids made??? See ya later. I was so mad and then they offered me the .25 and I told them to take a hike. Gosh I was mad. I wasn’t working for the money and I think they knew that and really took advantage of me.

  2. I managed a temp/perm agency. We had SO MANY LAME EXCUSES, I could write a book! The temps did not know we documented their calls. The worst was when we were told a grandparent died and then another grandparent died, then another….well, you get it! You get to the point that you do not believe anyone! The silliest was, ” I have a headache.” I would tell them if they valued their job, they would take an aspirin and get into work ASAP! Boy, am I glad I do not do that anymore!

  3. I chose not to go back to my old place of employment because it was going to come down to me working or going to jail for bitchslapping or shovelheading the guy who owns the place. He’s a dumbass who knows NOTHING about the business that I grew up working at. So had my SIL…so had my mom.
    My SIL left 2 months before I did. My mom is still there although with no business she only works 2 days a week.

    Oh my gosh I was the MOD there during the day for about a year and did the hiring. I heard it all too. I would just laugh at some of the stuff people would come up with for why they couldn’t work.

    I gotta say though Navar has topped them all with the fish Ick! ROFLMAO!

  4. Drank like a pig and had swine flu- I’m dying here! Are you serious? ROFLMAO! and your huz? The fish had Ick? I didn’t know there was such a thing- LOL. I better be careful because my daughter just bought her first real fish tank- LOLOLOLOL!!!

    One time I called in and stated I was at the Dr’s office w/ my daughter and I nearly died when my cat meowed very loudly in my bedroom while I was on the phone- I didn’t see that coming! holy hell- it was awful. I just pretended like it didn’t happen- LOL! They never questioned me… thank Goodness!

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